Saturday, February 13, 2010

Who says rednecks aint smart?

A Redneck, a treehugger and a Peta Puke are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when, all of a sudden, Saudi police rush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they are all sentenced to death!
However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they are able to successfully appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
The tredhugger was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back.
This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done he had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
The Peta puke was next up. After watching the treehugger in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again and the peta puke was soon led away whimpering loudly (as they do).
The Redneck was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world. I have visited there, and came to love NASCAR, and country music. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness", The Redneck replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave". The Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish, what is it to be?" the Sheikh asked.
"Tie the peta puke and the tree hugger to my back."

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