My status as a redneck has been called into question. A commenter at the conservative tree house told me I wasn't a real redneck unless I had a friend who had been arrested for DUI while driving a lawn mower.
Well, I have one even better. A guy I worked with switched to evening shift. It proved to be his undoing because when he got off work, he would head to the store and buy a twelve pack, then drink them on his way home. He was a fellow who loved a good fight, and the local RCPD had him in their sights to begin with.
In short order he had amassed a string of DUIs that wiped out his driving privileges fore life. Drive for work? he shot that dead by week three. His habits remained the same, get off work and buy beer.
Kip was a rednecks redneck though and he didn't let that stop himeven after they impounded all his vehicles. That ran. Kip had a horse, and he began riding her to work. The plant had a big lawn, hey watered it regularly, and she was in Equine heaven!
Kip kept up his routine though, get off work, head to the store, get beer and drink it on his way home.
One night as he was chugging on his merry way, a cop stopped him. He was drinking on the horse, and that was open container. The cop cut him a break though and just made him dump the beer. Only the opne one it seems, because as soon as the cop was out of sight, he popped a fresh one. The cop though was watching, and he came back. This time he arrested Kip for DUI. On a horse.
Wait a minute! the horse wasn't drunk. If he had been it would have been giving alcohol to a minor.
I guess he got off lucky.
I was laughing so hard when I typed the reply that I put GUI, and it is, galloping under the influence.
I'd have one of these in every room
1 minute ago