A Social Justice Warrior working in Mizzu drew the short straw, and was tasked with making a run to Colorado for medicinal herbs. On the trip out, as he crossed Kansas, he couldn't help but notice all the highway patrol sitting and watching for potential drug mules, and it bothered him.
Deeming discretion the better part of valor, he opted for the road less traveled on his return. Now, those of you familiar with Kansas know that some of the roads shown don't actually exist, some are mere dirt tracks and not pavement and the luckless SJW managed to find one such road and ended up stuck. A Kansas rancher, a typical redneck happened by and offered him a bad for the night and he gladly accepted. Upon reaching the rednecks abode, he couldn't help but notice that the redneck had a beautiful teenaged daughter. A Daisy Duke in the making!
The redneck, noticing the stare, only said, "You'd best just stay clear of my child."
Well, one thing about SJWs is their intellect, and this one was close to a box of hammers in that department.
Late that night, after every one had drifted off to bed, the SJW went to the girl's room, and soon they were rolling together like porn stars. When he'd had his way, the SJW went back to his room and slept like a log.
In the morning when he awoke, there was a large cinder block on his chast with a note that said, First redneck torture, block on chest. The SJW grabbed the block and flung it through the window. At that instant he saw a note on the ceiling that read, Second redneck torture, Nuts tied to block.
The SJW lept to his feet and with no time to spare jumped out the window after the block. As he did,he saw a third note on the window sill that read, Third redneck torture, pecker tied to bedpost.