Just the daily thoughts and gripes of a guy attempting to survive in America's heartland.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Antidote for a bad pun
Well, Denny had his Moanday pun up, and its a good one, or not. For those who need a laugh to start the week, heres one to maybe make your day.
Jesus and Moses are out golfing one day. They reach the 15th hole, which has a nice sized water hazard seperating the fairway from the green, and after the initial drives, they wander out onto the fairway. When it comes time for Jesus' shot, he looks at how far he has to go to the green and selects the 9-iron for his shot.
"You might want to reconsider," says Moses. "That's a 7-iron shot if I ever saw one."
Jesus shakes his head. "I once saw Arnold Palmer make this exact shot with a 9-iron. If he can do it, then so can I."
Moses laughs. "Alright, if you insist."
"I'm telling you, if Arnold Palmer can make this shot witha 9-iron, then I shouldn't have any problems." And with that, he lined up for his shot, took a mighty swing, and watched as the ball went up and up, and then down and down and down... right into the water hazard. Jesus shakes his head in disgust. "I don't understand it. Arnold Palmer did it!"
Moses just laughs and says, "I'll tell you what, I'll let you do that one again. But I'm telling you, that's a 7-iron shot." Moses then walks over to the pond, holds out his arms and parts the water, just like the Red Sea. He then calmly walks over to Jesus' ball, picks it up, walks back to his friend, and drops it down in front of him. "7-iron," he says, before stepping back.
"I'm telling you," says Jesus, "If Arnold Palmer did it, so can I." Moses laughs but doesn't say anything else as Jesus lines up for his shot. This time, his swing is near perfect, and the ball goes up and up and up, and then down, and down, and down, and.... PLUNK! Right into the drink again.
"I don't understand it," says Jesus. "I should be able to make that shot with a 9-iron if Arnold Palmer did too."
"Well," says Moses. "I tried to tell you but you wouldn't listen. Now you're going to have to go and get your own ball."
Jesus sighs, walks over to the water, and then begins walking on top of the water. When he gets to the spot where his ball went in, he kneels down and begins fishing around for it.
As this was happening, a man drives by in a golf cart and sees Jesus kneeling on top of the water trying to find his ball. After a moment or two, the man calls out to Moses, "Hey, does that guy think he's Jesus or something?"
"No," yells Moses in response. "He thinks he's Arnold Palmer."