A man stumbles up to the bar looking very haggard, and says, "Give me five shots of whisky and right now!"
The bartender lines up five shot glasses on the bar, and fills them with whiskey. As he turns around from putting the bottle up he notices that the five shot classes are empty. "God almighty, that was fast," the bartender says.
"Yeah, well you would drink fast too if you had what I have," says the customer.
The bartender takes a step back and says, "what have you got?"
They guy pulls his hand out of his pocket and says, "Seventy-five cents."
I just got a chubby
10 minutes ago