Friday, March 29, 2013

Something to start your day out right

An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes.
The first passenger said, "I am President Obama, the chosen one. The world needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first parachute and left the plane.
The second passenger, Julia Gillard, said, "I am the prime Minister of Australia and I am the smartest woman in Australian history, so Australia's people don't want me to die." She took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane.
The third passenger, John Kerry, said, "I'm a Senator, and a decorated war hero from the Army of the United States of America ." So he grabbed the parachute next to him and jumped.
The fourth passenger, ex-President George W. Bush, said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old schoolgirl, "I have lived a full life, and served my country the best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."
The little girl said, "That's okay, Mr. President. There's a parachute left for you. The Vietnam traitor took my schoolbag.

Alternate ending:

The little girl said, "That's okay, Mr. President. There's a parachute left for you. Teh chosen won chose the wrong one and took my schoolbag.


hiswiserangel said...

I don't know where you get these, but please tell me the supply is endless. Good morning!

JeremyR said...

Most of em I heard as a kid. I've been telling jokes for decades. When I worked for a local manufacturer, I had a new joke every night. When I ran out of jokes, I hung up my hat there, it took over sixteen years. Thats well over 4,500 jokes. Heard more since then.
Many of them are stored in my w-mail accounts. I just go back through the archives, make a few changes and post em. Most racist jokes are easy to change to redneck ones, and nearly all ethnic jokes can be easily tweaked.