Monday, February 16, 2015

A little morning humor

Q: What do you get when you cross a Chinese and a Mexican man?
A: A car thief who can't drive!

Q: What do the Chinese do during erections?
A: They vote.

Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in China?
A: He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

Q: How do you know if an Chinaman robbed your house?
A: Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the fucker is still trying to back out of your driveway.

CHINESE PREGNANCY TEST: Put an unsolved Rubik's cube into her vagina. If it comes out solved, she is pregnant.

If you spin a Chinese man around would he become disoriented?

My parents are so Chinese they Honor-killed my sister for getting an A- on a math test!

Every thing is made in china expect kids their made in vuchina (vagina)

If Japanese Pop is Jpop then what is Chinese rap? CRAP?

Apparently animals make different sounds according to different Languages. For example, in China a Dog makes a Sizzling noise.

Scientist say the average size of the male penis has gone down to 5 inches. This just shows how big the Chinese population is getting.

I wonder if the Chinese put their smileys like this ¦)

Chinese worker: "Me not come to work, me sick."
Boss: "When I'm sick I have sex with my wife, try it."
Chinese calls back: "It worked. Me better. You got nice house!"


An airplane takes off from the airport. The captain is Jewish and the first officer is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and it's obvious by the silence that they don't get along. After thirty minutes, the Jewish Captain speaks, "I don't like Chinese."

The First Officer replies, " Ooooh, no like Chinese? Why ees that?"

The Captain says, "You bombed Pearl Harbor. That's why I don't like Chinese."

The F.O. says, "Nooooo, noooo... Chinese not bomb Pearl Harbah. That Japanese, not Chinese."

And the Captain answers, "Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese... it doesn't matter, they're all alike." Another thirty minutes of silence.

Finally the F.O. says, "No like Jew." The Captain replies, "Why not? Why don't you like Jews?"

F.O. says, "Jews sink Titanic."

The Captain tries to correct him, "No, no. The Jews didn't sink the Titanic. It was an iceberg."

The F.O. replies," Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, no mattah. All same."

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