Monday, August 12, 2013

A little morning humor

About five years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand to start the car. I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push my

car fast enough to start it. I pointed out to her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it needed to be pushed at least 30 mph for it to start.

She said fine, hoped into her car and drove off.

I sat there fuming wondering what she could

be doing.

A minute passed by and when I saw her in the

rearview mirror coming at me at about 40 mph, I

realized that I should have been a bit clearer with my directions.

1 comment:

Toejam said...

Don't forget a Beetle's battery is under the back seat.

I learned the hard way with my 1972 Bug.

The top of the battery is insulated by a plastic shield from the springs in the seat.

From years of wear and age the plastic cover on my car's battery cracked.

I met up with a honey at a notorious Hackensack, NJ bar called "The Crow's Nest" one hot summer's night, hopped in the VW's back seat, stripped off our clothes and began to fornicate. Suddenly the entire world lite up. From our "bouncy" actions the seat's metal springs actually shorted the poles of the batters and sparks flew everywhere. Fortunately, there was no fire in the car. Unfortunately there was no fire in my loins after that event.