Redneck joke for a Friday

A Nebraska Redneck was making his first visit to a hospital where his teenage son was about to have an operation.


Watching the doctor's every move, he asked, "What's that?"

The doctor explained, "This is an anesthetic. After he gets this he won't know a thing."

"Save your time, Doc," exclaimed the man. "He don't know nothing now."

The bullpup 500

O.F. Mossberg has been cranking out shotguns for ninety years. The model 500, first introduced in 1960 is probably the most reliable shotgun ever produced. it is the only shotgun to meet the strident Mil-Spec 3443E standard. Mossberg has offered many variants of this reliable weapon, and tonight's feature is the Bullpup. First offered in 1987, it was designed for police and special security needs. That it was discontinued is a travesty.


Shotguns are excellent weapons for home protection and other various needs. Floyd Reagan, a Minnesota DNR game warden swears there is no animal on the North American continent that cannot be taken with one. Floyd would know. When assigned in Alaska patrolling for poachers, Floyd selected a 12ga as his weapon to carry. On one foot patrol he encountered a Kodiak bear. The bear wanted Floyd for lunch. The charge of shot nearly severed the bears head. I'd just as soon not let them get that close.

Many people today are opting for pistol grip shotguns. They look bad ass. They also shoot like crap! A shoulder stock offers a steady support for your shots. Whether one opts for a solid stock, collapsing stock or folding stock, in my opinion, they are a must. Heavy shot, or slugs play hell on the wrists. The extra length may be a bit of a problem in close quarters, but in my opinion is well worth it.

The 500 Bullpup has the advantage of a full length barrel, plenty of spare rounds, a shoulder stock, and a neat small package. The action is the same as any other 500. The stock contains a transfer bar that fits to the original trigger.

Shotgun performance is also outstanding. A 12ga shotgun slug generates more muzzle energy then a 30-06 150 grain round. Its down range performance is better then a 30-30, and modern rounds remain accurate beyond 150 yards.

Much can be debated regarding buckshot. A 2 3/4 12 ga round holds eight or nine pellets 00 depending on manufacture, and is the equivalent of firing a short bust from a submachine gun. Down range performance drops as the spread of the pellets soon reaches the point where only a few hit the target. I prefer #4 buck. Twenty seven pellets vs only nine increases the probability of multiple hits at extended ranges. Shot size drops from .33 to .24 inches resulting in a pellet that is nearly 1/3 the weight, but with the increase in number results in a somewhat heavier overall load and increased hit potential.

12 ga ammo is plentiful, especially compared to some of the more popular rifle calibers. Shotgun ammo is also easier to reload. even a 10% variation will still shoot within parameters since accuracy is not pinpoint. In a last ditch situation, almost anything can be used for projectiles from gravel to glass.

Mossberg has been my shotgun of choice for thirty years. I know that many of you are fans of Remington, Benelli, or Winchester. Its all a matter of what you like. I have never had a Mossberg fail to fire, and some of mine have been heavily abused. Mossbergs are low cost, high quality, and not a lot of flash. The 500 series has been around for nearly fifty years with only minor changes, and is second to the 870 in total sales.

The Mossberg 500 bullpup truly fits the bill for an all around defense weapon. Its size is about the same as a pistol grip model, it has a full length barrel, and handling is good. Sadly, Mossberg has no announced plans to reintroduce this excellent arm, and no after market manufacturers have any offerings out at the present time. I would like to see after market stocks for the Remington 870, 1100, and some of the other popular guns. I can always hope, can't I?

The Warriors Song

Awesome vid! Enjoy.

Bullet hits Lou Dobbs house?

According to American Pravda a bullet hit his house while his wife and driver were standing nearby. The claim is they heard the shot but that it did not penetrate, and fell harmlessly to the ground.
Now, I don't know about you, but this pegged my bullshit meter. Granted, they live in the country, it is small game season, and stuff like that happens once in a while, but this just aint flyin with me.
This smacks too much of the Iwacky woman whose house was hit by bullets. Remember that story?
I'm sure those on the loony left are eating it up like candy.

Redneck joke for a Saturday

An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare.




With that as his mission he began to search for the perfect woman.



Shortly there after he met a Redneck who had three stunning ,gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the Redneck and asked for permission to marry one of them.



The Redneck simply replied, "They're lookin' to get married, so you came to the right place. Look 'em over and pick the one you want."



The man dated the first daughter. The next day the Redneck asked for the man's opinion.



"Well," said the man, "she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice...pigeon-toed."



The Redneck nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter.



The next day, the Redneck again asked how things went.



"Well,"the man replied, "she's just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell...cross-eyed."



The Redneck nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did.



The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, "She's perfect, just perfect. She's the one I want to marry."



So they were wed right away. Months later the baby was born. When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law and asked how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.



"Well," explained the Redneck... "She was just a weeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell... pregnant when you met her."

The one on the right was wide awake.

There once was a flyin troupe

A passenger haulin pilot group
They flew the latest air craft
to the air ports of our land
They were long on aeronautical ability
Folks thought they would go far
But story incompatibility led to their downfall

Well, the one on the right was wide awake
And the one on the left was not asleep
And the stewardesses were serving coffee
And some guy in the rear was a Muslim

This airborne aggregation toured the entire nation
Flyin to major cities
And never forgettin when to land
They flew with great care for safety
And soon they were the rage
But story unbelievability would soon take center stage

Well, the one on the right was in a discussion
And the one on the left said he was not
And the stewardesses offered beer and soda
And some guy in the rear hated America

Well the landing gear had retracted
A hush fell on the plane
As one hundred forty nine were gathered to fly to Minneapolis
But they didn't take their jobs seriously
And that night on the plane flight deck

As the passengers rode unknowingly
They didn't take a nap
Well, the one on the right wasn't snoring loudly
And the one on the left wasn't snoring a'tall
And the stewardesses served extra coffee
And some guy in the rear, said, "Oh dear"

Now this should be a lesson if you plan to pilot aircraft
Don't go mixin' BS with the safety of the flight
Just work on take off and landings
Fly your A320 well
And if ya go to Minneapolis don't fly off into the night

Now, the one on the left is suspended
And the one on the right might lose his job
The stewardesses are back in action
And the guy in the rear is takin a bus.


OK, maybe not my best work, but certainly not my worst either. Hey, come back! I was only joking, it is my worst, really.....

Minnesota has Rednecks?

Well, I guess so. BTW, I'm not a real Kansan. Bwahahaha......