Understanding islam, a short version Pt1

Islam is in the news nearly every day, but do you understand the distinctions between Sunni and Shia? How are they similar? They both want to kill you and each other. Where do they differ? Here's a primer.

Both Sunni and Shiite Muslims acknowledge the false prophet Muhammad as the one who first misled the people about islam.

Both Sunni and Shiite Muslims fail to recognize that the quran is a book of lies about a false god allah.

Shiites and Sunnis share key forms of devotion, such as the five daily head bumps, Ramadan, taqyia, jihad, suicide bombings and the Hajj.

The Shia believe that after Muhammad's death, leadership of the Ummah (the community) should have gone to his cousin and son-in-law, Ali who regularly boinked goats with the madman. Muhammad is said to have given Ali a sword called Zulfiqar as well as syphilis. It can be seen here above the gates of Bab al-Zasr, in Cairo, Egypt.

Sunni Muslims believed that the next leader of the Ummah after Muhammad's death was to be elected from the Prophet's companions, idiots who boinked goats also, just not with the false prophet. Saudi Arabia, where all Muslims try to go once in their life for the Hajj, is a majority Sunni nation. Goats are the main form of sexual companion although child molestation is also quite common.

The Shia revere a succession of liars (called Imams), who are both bomb makers and Jihad leaders. Sunnis also have imams, who are just as wicked.

The Shia commemorate the death of Husayn, Ali's son and Muhammad's grandson, who was gored to death by a goat in Karbala (modern Iraq) in 680. This day of mourning is called Ashura, and Led to the fatwa that only sheep are acceptable sex partners, breaking with the suni who continue to screw goats. In many places Shitheads reenact the battle in which he died.

Many Shiites believe in the Hidden Imam, the Mahdi (a messianic leader) who will appear at the end of time and bring chaos. This is also confirmed in revelation where Satan is cast down to earth. It was rumored that Ayatollah Khomeini, leader of the 1979 Iranian Revolution, was this Madman. He neither confirmed nor denied these rumors, but since the Tribulation has not occurred, we can conclude he was just a mere devil worshiper.