Cheap shot but...

What's black, has bite marks and isn't needed ?

Philip Seymore Hoffman's belt.

redneck humor

Bubba and his wife had nine children They went to the Dr. to see about getting Bubba "fixed". The DR. gladly did the procedure and asked them what finally made them make the decision. Bubba replied that they had read that 1 out of 10 children being born in Kansas was Mexican , and they didn't want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because they couldn't speak Spanish.

happy ground hog day.

I prefer mine over eggs sunnyside up and with the yolks runny thank you.

Which is better?

Purchasing or Leasing?

Which is better?

Many people cannot decide which is cheaper - purchasing or leasing. I would like to help you decide by illustrating two charming stories.

Purchasing

The math on the Paul McCartney - Heather Mills divorce was as follows:
After 5 years of marriage, he paid her $49 million.
Assuming he had sex with her every night during their 5 year relationship, it ended up with him purchasing her @ $26,849 per time.

Leasing

On the other hand, New York Governor Eliot Spitzer's favorite hooker, Kristen, charged $4,000 per night.

So, had Paul McCartney "employed" Kristen for 5 years @ $4,000 per night, he would have paid only $7.3 million in total for sex every night. This represents a $41.7 million saving for Eliot. What a shrewd man Eliot is, compared to the ageing Beatle.
Further valuable benefits of this Leasing option are;
* a (real) 22 year old
* no need for coaxing / pleading / begging
* never a headache
* happily agrees to all technical requests
* no complaining
* no “Honey - please do this” lists
* has two legs
Best of all, she leaves and returns when asked.
All at 1/7th the cost and no legal fees.

Sometimes Leasing just makes more sense.

THE OLD ADAGE STILL HOLDS TRUE...IF IT FLYS, FUCKS, OR FLOATS...RENT IT !

Its bad here

Just how bad is it? A man washed up in the Marshall islands and claimed he had been at sea for 16 months. He left Mexico headed south to El Salvador. What? we aint good enough for em anymore? OK, so we chalk the drop in illegal immigration up as a credit for Obambi. next we are gonna be hearing about people fleeing Mexifornia ending up in North Korea.
Speaking of which, this guy is lucky he didn't end up there. How bad it would be to endure a year and a half of hell in a boat only to be executed for entering North Korea without a visa.
At any rate, this guy is blessed to be alive. GOD has a plan for him. Its time to listen to the Lord.
Note to self, do not put to sea in a boat assembled in Messyco, and be careful about vehicles assembled there as well.

Obozo's fighting a rear guard action

The Keystone XL project has been on hold by Oblowme for several years now as he throws roadblock after roadblock in front of its construction. The report he demanded, conducted by his accomplices, has found no reason to stop it, yet he continues to block construction. IS he doing this to push funds to his political cronies? That appears to be the only reason.
The last few years have seen several rail road accidents involving product that should have been shipped via pipeline. The damage can be very nasty, and if a derailment happened in a major city, and railroads seem to run through every last one of them, think of the consequences. Pipelines by contrast tend to steer away from major urban hubs. Its expensive to build close to a city, through one would be prohibitive. Pipelines also have safety valves at regular intervals which would limit a spill to less then what is often lost in a train accident.
Yet, Soro's sock puppet presses on. I'd call him the man who would be king, but the ball less little cocksucker is more like a queen. An ugly drag queen. Wouldn't it be nice to have a president again who loves his country? or should I say loves America?

So bad its Funny

3 logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks them: "Would you all like a beer?"
The first one answers: "I don't know."
The second one answers: "I don't know."
The third one answers: "Yes!"