Wednesday, May 7, 2014
A little morning humor
A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer
hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house, and found
his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen
table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mom, I have something to tell you:
I'm gay."
His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay -- doesn't that mean you put other men's penises in your mouth?"
The guy said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mom, that's right." His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around, whacked him over the head with her spoon and said, "Don't EVER complain about my cooking again!"
His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay -- doesn't that mean you put other men's penises in your mouth?"
The guy said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mom, that's right." His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around, whacked him over the head with her spoon and said, "Don't EVER complain about my cooking again!"
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
If you like your nuts, you can keep your nuts... Oops
Socialized hellcare strikes again! The Europeon model for Obozo care, the British NHS is the subject of tonights screw up royal.
A man in Liverpool was to receive a urological procedure. Instead, he got a vasectomy. OK, not as bad as getting castrated, but still he will no longer be able to father children.
The upside is, it could have been worse, they could have removed his brain. Heaven forbid, we have enough democrats. The down side is, the chances of a reversal are only about 40% although in-vitro fertilization is an option. All the problems of children, none of the fun. Then again, he won't have to worry about paternity suits either.
Keep this in mind as we are forced to endure Oblowme care. We had the best medical system in the world bar none. That has changed. the problem was tort reform and insurance scamming. Neither problem was solved, and the scammers may even have it easier now.
How long until Americans will be sneaking across the pond to get their surgery?
A man in Liverpool was to receive a urological procedure. Instead, he got a vasectomy. OK, not as bad as getting castrated, but still he will no longer be able to father children.
The upside is, it could have been worse, they could have removed his brain. Heaven forbid, we have enough democrats. The down side is, the chances of a reversal are only about 40% although in-vitro fertilization is an option. All the problems of children, none of the fun. Then again, he won't have to worry about paternity suits either.
Keep this in mind as we are forced to endure Oblowme care. We had the best medical system in the world bar none. That has changed. the problem was tort reform and insurance scamming. Neither problem was solved, and the scammers may even have it easier now.
How long until Americans will be sneaking across the pond to get their surgery?
Monday, May 5, 2014
Not so true
It seems that every day I see a vehicle or two with a bumper sticker proclaiming " Only a good guy with a gun can stop a bad guy with a gun.
Sounds good, but.....
Last year Chiraq experienced over 500 murders. Add in a few Police shootings, and the number climbs even higher. We can argue all day, but rest assured, not all of those folks who died in the blood bath were good guys, and you can bet your bottom dollar it wasn't good guys who put the lifeless in em, even the worst ones.
Therefore, we must acknowledge that bad guys with guns also stop bad guys with guns. Some folks, especially the Mayors illegally against guns want us to believe that the only good guys with guns are the ones with badges. Not all the badge totters are good guys though, look at Los Angeles. It has got to be one of the most corrupt departments west of the Mississippi. Had to draw the line there because of New Orleans.
Last we have to account for the hand full of wannabe thugs who inadvertently end their own careers in crime by their own hand. Wish more of em would take that way out.
Sounds good, but.....
Last year Chiraq experienced over 500 murders. Add in a few Police shootings, and the number climbs even higher. We can argue all day, but rest assured, not all of those folks who died in the blood bath were good guys, and you can bet your bottom dollar it wasn't good guys who put the lifeless in em, even the worst ones.
Therefore, we must acknowledge that bad guys with guns also stop bad guys with guns. Some folks, especially the Mayors illegally against guns want us to believe that the only good guys with guns are the ones with badges. Not all the badge totters are good guys though, look at Los Angeles. It has got to be one of the most corrupt departments west of the Mississippi. Had to draw the line there because of New Orleans.
Last we have to account for the hand full of wannabe thugs who inadvertently end their own careers in crime by their own hand. Wish more of em would take that way out.
Saturday, May 3, 2014
A little morning humor
I bought a new Chevy Avalanche and returned to the dealer yesterday because I couldn’t get the radio to work.
The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.
‘Nelson,’ the salesman said to the radio.
The radio replied, ‘Ricky or Willie?’
‘Willie!’ he continued and ‘On The Road Again’ came from the speakers.
Then he said, ‘Ray Charles!’, and in an instant ‘Georgia On My Mind’ replaced Willie Nelson.
I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I’d say, ‘Beethoven’, I’d get beautiful classical music, and if I said, ‘Beatles’, I’d get one of their awesome songs.
Yesterday, some guy ran a red light and nearly creamed my new truck, but I swerved in time to avoid him.
I yelled, ‘Ass Hole!’
Immediately the radio responded with, “Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States Barack Hussein Obama
Damn I love this truck…
The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.
‘Nelson,’ the salesman said to the radio.
The radio replied, ‘Ricky or Willie?’
‘Willie!’ he continued and ‘On The Road Again’ came from the speakers.
Then he said, ‘Ray Charles!’, and in an instant ‘Georgia On My Mind’ replaced Willie Nelson.
I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I’d say, ‘Beethoven’, I’d get beautiful classical music, and if I said, ‘Beatles’, I’d get one of their awesome songs.
Yesterday, some guy ran a red light and nearly creamed my new truck, but I swerved in time to avoid him.
I yelled, ‘Ass Hole!’
Immediately the radio responded with, “Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States Barack Hussein Obama
Damn I love this truck…
Friday, May 2, 2014
A little morning humor
Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
Thursday, May 1, 2014
A litte morning humor
Olympic Sailing results are in:
US took gold
New Zealand took silver
Somalia took a Middle aged couple from Great Britain
US took gold
New Zealand took silver
Somalia took a Middle aged couple from Great Britain
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