A little morning humor

The bride and groom finally arrive and check into the honeymoon suite.

As they begin to get undressed the man (built like a defensive end) takes off his trousers and tosses them to his new bride and says, "Here...put these on"

The blushing bride (built like a Romanian gymnast) catches them and says, "I can't wear these".

The man of the house replies, "That's right. And remember for the rest of our lives I will wear the pants in the family."

As the bride slips out of her panties she tosses them to him. "Here put these on" she says.

"I can't get into these" roars the man of the house.

"That's right" she says. "And until you change your attitude you're not going to either"

A little morning humor

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at
work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home.

She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in
there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are
in the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go
outside and have a game of catch." The boy says, "I can't, I sold my
baseball and my glove." The father asks, "How much did you sell them
for?"
Boy - "$1,000"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like
that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that shit again."

No rights for victims

That is the mantra of the thug momma Sybrina Fullashit. She and her gangbanging sperm donor want to repeal Stand your Ground laws. Unfortunately, the Floriduh court system has allowed her to profit from her dead criminal spawn.
She should be made to return all the money she extorted from the HOA. Yes, I know, Denny thinks HOA's are evil, but the money comes out of the pockets of honest home owners.
Some one needs to tell that worthless BITCH that her scumbag son got justice, One 9mm in the ticker!

A little morning humor

What mouse walks on 2 feet?

Mickey mouse.

What duck walks on 2 feet?

One hell of a way to die

Some people don't like spiders, for others is snakes, or rats, or well, you name it. For me, its raccoons. You might call it a phobia, I wouldn't. A phobia is an irrational fear, mine is very rational. One of my earliest memories is of raccoons. I was playing out in the yard with my nephew. I was about a year and a half. My sister came running and grabbed us, then headed for the house. She had me under her arm facing backward, and as she ran, we were pursued by a raccoon. The only thing between us and it was our dog who was running backward, snarling and growling at that coon. When we reached the safety of the enclosed porch, I vividly remember watching as the coon climbed the corner of the house to the roof of the porch.

That coon, was one of three who came into our yard that day. I've had nightmares about it all my life, and since some things from early childhood are make believe, I recently asked my sister about it. She confirmed that my memory was indeed correct, but that we had several instances that summer where rabid raccoons wandered into the farmstead.

Fast forward to 2013, and raccoons with rabies are again in the news. This one caused two fatalities. How you ask? Well, as it happens, the first victim was not diagnosed with rabies when he died in 2011, and his organs were harvested for transplant. The victim was bitten at least twice by coons and not treated. Seven months after the second bite, he died with symptoms including nausea, vomiting and fever. Due to the incorrect diagnosis, his kidneys, heart and live were transplanted. It was a year and a half later that the second death occurred. One of the kidney recipients died from rabies in February of this year. The other three recipients have undergone rabies vaccinations and show no signs of the disease.

If you are into the outdoors, be careful. Any warm blooded animal can carry rabies, and depending on the severity of the bite, it may take a week, a month, or even longer for symptoms to appear. Wild animals, and especially coons are encroaching into our cities and suburbs. They pose a danger! If you have them in your neighborhood, notify a trapper. They can use humane methods to eradicate the vermin so your neighbors won't be offended by an animal struggling in a leg hold trap. In urban settings, leg holds are the worst. Some peta puke might see the animal, attempt a rescue, and get their ass bitten. On second thought, demand leg hold traps. Two birds with one stone so to speak.

A little morning humor

Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus?

It's called the Anal Optic Nerve, and it is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life.

If you don't believe it, try to pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye!!

The next Clinton?

Worthless Willie is a one of a kind. He is a man who can rape women and still have the National Association of Gals back him 100%. He can lie to Congress, lie to the courts, and lie to the American people, and no one seems to care. His days of glory are over though, and with advancing age, he will eventually slide into history, albeit one written by leftarded professors in communist indoctrination facilities.
Cankles the unfuckable may also be slipping off the stage. Sure, the press is covering her fuck ups, or were they intentional, in Benghazi, but enough people have seen her ugly side to not want her in power.
Alas, the end of the legacy is not to be. Anthony Weinar, and his bag of tricks bitch of a wife are back at it. While Tweeter peter is up to his old stunts, one upping Worthless Willies sleeze, his wife is fast tracking America's destruction from her position at state.
This is a repeat of the debacle of 1992. We have a sleeze bag politician and a corrupt wife who is cheated on, but covers for her unfaithful louse err spouse. Yes, its not the presidential campaign, but this sicko has national asperations. not happy with fucking a few whores behind his woman's back, he wants to screw America, and he is back in the running to do it.
I expect to soon see FOX news in bed with the rest of the lame stream media. They are supposedly owned by Communist China now. Good bye news, hello propaganda. I guess Al Jizz er ah the mooslime shit fest isn't bad enough.
We. Are. Screwed.