I wish it were true

I heard the other day that a woman visiting at a health club in Kansas had just gotten in to the locker room and was disrobing when she heard a commotion from the shower area followed by several young girls running out.
They were followed in short order by a male with long hair on his head, but his body completely waxed, sporting serious wood. The woman, with out hesitation, reached in to her gym bag and pulled out a Taurus Judge, pointed and fired. Unfortunately for the general public, she kept it loaded with bird shot to deal with more mild critters, and so, though her shot was true, the pervestite lived.
He immediately fled the building and sprinted to a near by urgent care facility. The doctor on call made a quick assessment, and told the wounded fellow that he could do nothing. he then wrote an address on a card and advised him to seek help there.
Glancing at the card, the man groaned, "what kind of specialist is he?"
"A piccolo player." replied the doc, "He'll teach you how to hold it so you won't be pissing in your face all the time."