Update on Irma

NASA is now reporting that the barometric pressure associated with Irma has cropped so low that it is affecting the moon. Pseudo scientific readings confirm that the lunar body is now 25.086mm closer to earth than at any time in recorded history. This means that the lunar cycle will be shortened by .0000869 seconds per cycle resulting in a shortened growing season, stronger tides, and brighter nights which will have a catastrophic impact on wildlife as the brighter cast will make it easier for predators to find animals which counted on darkness for protection, and it's all your fault for not driving a Chevy Dolt err Volt.
Just remember, you read it here first.