Fuck Islam day

A little boy is standing on top of a cliff, looking down at the sea and crying his eyes out. A Muslim cleric approaches and says, "My child, why are you so upset?"

The little boy turns to him and says, "My mommy and daddy were in their car - and it just rolled over the cliff and smashed on the rocks down there."

The Imam slowly looks around him, lifts his robe and while unraveling his loincloth says, "It's just not your day, is it?"

My brothers keeper

I had my lunch ruined today when the TV in the establishment switched to coverage of the SCoaMF trotting out his new racist sceme. They call it "My brothers keeper". Hey! why not, most of em have a keeper of sorts now. Its either a Corrections officer, a bondsman, or a probation officer. Might as well get the last few under government control so they won't feel left out, and be inclined to do some crime to get included.
If Oblowme gave one shit about black men, and boys, he would end the welfare state which encourages women to raise children with out a father or father figure in their lives. That is a recipe for disaster now being played out in places like Detroit, Chicago, and nearly every major metropolitan area in the nation where the vast majority of black children grow up with out a father because mom sponges off us via welfare.
Doubling down on stupid is still stupid. it has become this administrations calling card.

A little morning humor

Did you hear about the Obama Bucket at KFC?

Its all left wings and assholes.

Bad attitude

Yes, I have one of those today. I spent most of the morning in the ER because of an unattentive driver. I was returning home from taking my wife to work when I got sideswiped. I was traveling next to a vehicle in a pack. We were all doing roughly 50mph, and as we came up onto the Blue River bridge, the woman who was next to me decided she wanted to change lanes.
I caught movement out of the corner of my eye, and tried to avoid her, but it was too late. She was swerving left,but looking right. Normally a side swipe isn't too bad a collision, but I tried to avoid contact with the bridge rail, and that resulted in us colliding twice. the second time sent my car into a fish tail which although not fun, should be no big deal.
The problem is, I am recovering from neck surgery, and all that side to side motion put a heavy strain on my neck. When I got stopped, it felt like the titanium plate and screws had pulled loose. I mean serious pain.
She stopped about a hundred feet beyond me, and in a few minutes was marching to my car. No, are you hurt, or is every thing ok? It was here is my information, I need yours, I'm in a hurry. She was a total bitch. She then had the audacity to tell the cop that I came out of no where and was really flying. The damage on the sides of the cars makes it pretty darn clear we were traveling the same speed.
A black woman with anger issues. Lets hope an increased insurance rate makes her rethink her driving skills or lack there of. ER visits, and CT scans do not come cheap.
As for my car, well, $2500 should have it good as used. The front alignment is messed up, as is the front passenger door. This is its third accident since I got it, and none were my fault. the first two, it was parked. The second was a hit and run, the first? Another angry black woman. At least this one has insurance. The first had a current card, but it had lapsed for lack of payment.

A little morning humor

Nancy Pelosi called Harry Reid into her office one day and said, “Harry, I have a plan to win back Middle America in 2014!”

“Great Nancy, but how?” asked Harry.

“We’ll get some cheesy clothes and shoes, like most Middle Class Americans wear, then stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador Retriever. Then, we’ll go to a nice old country bar in Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working people living there.”

So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Bozeman, Montana. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar.

The Bartender took a step back and said, “Hey, aren't you Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi?”

“Yes we are!” said Nancy, “And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Harry suggested we stop and take in some local color.”

They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar, and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.

A few minutes later, a grizzled old rancher came in, walked up to the Labrador, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, in came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and left the bar. For the next hour, another dozen ranchers came in, lifted the dog’s tail, and left shaking their heads.

Finally, Nancy asked, “Why did all those old ranchers come in and look under the dog’s tail? Is it some sort of custom?”

“Lord no,” said the bartender. “Someone’s out there running around town, claiming there’s a Labrador Retriever in here with two dicks

A little morning humor

Harry Reid, John Boehner, and Nancy P Lousy

are travelling down The Yellow Brick Road. After a while they encounter a wizard.

"I am a great and powerful wizard, and I will grant each one of you what you need the most," says the wizard.

"Harry Reid, you don't actually care about any of the citizens. So to you I will give a heart."

"Gee, thanks Mr. Wizard," said a suddenly grateful Reid.

"John Boehner: you are too afraid to stand up to the nutcases in the House. So to you I will give courage."

"Gosh, thanks wiz!" sobbed Boehner, wiping away some tears.

"Ooh, ooh! I know I know! Yer gonna give me a brain and make me super smart, aren't ya wizard dude?" exclaimed Nancy P Lousy.

"Look lady," he replied. "I'm a wizard, not a fucking miracle worker."

Hey dumbass

I can think of no title better suited to former injustice John Paul Stevens the mentally deficient former member of the SCOTUS is trotting out his meme that the 2nd amendment needs to be rewritten. Well, dumbass, its not your job to tell US what you imagine it should say. It was your job to uphold it, something which you roundly failed to do.
You, a democrat hero, are a disgrace. It is not up to the injustices of the court to change any amendment. We have a process set down in the Constitution for doing that. You are emblematic of the problem with our government today. You have fully failed to do your sworn duty. You are not an incompetent nincompoop like Oblowme, you sir are a traitor to our nation. In other words, a typical Chicago political hack.

A little morning humor

When I was 14, all I wanted was a girl with large breasts.

When I was 16, I dated a girl with large breasts but there was no passion. So I decided that I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college, I dated a passionate girl but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, she was a drama queen, she cried all the time and threatened suicide.

So then I decided I needed a girl with some stability. I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.

I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless.

So I decided to find a girl with some ambition. After University, I found a smart, ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

Now all I want is a girl with big tits.

A little morning humor

What do you call a Republican gay club?

A baton

Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a Liberal from any direction.

Bieber is upset

The worthless woosie of the wasteland is all upset about the loser keeps him jokes that abounded prior to Canada cleaning team U.S.A.s clock. My bet is they took it seriously and played like there was no tomorrow just because of that.
So Justine, prove it was a joke with no merit, go back to Canada and STAY there.

Note to self

Never call a goat fucking pedophile follower of the pervert mohammed a son of a bitch. They tend to be a tad thin skinned about the reference to mans best friend.
Ok, I don't know for sure that this rapist and wannabe murderer is a mooslime, but given that he is from Indonesia, and oh so full of himself, it adds up. If not, no apology, he neither adds nor detracts from the cult of death. Perverts and rapists on the other hand may not want to be associated with him.
So to all you mooslimes out there, you are not sons of bitches. You will never rise to that level of scum.

A little morning humor

A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. The Republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.

The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, he decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the Republican’s pocket and gave the homeless person fifty dollars.

A little morning humor

How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three. One to illegally hire a Mexican to do it and two to deport him when he's done.

How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They're used to being in the dark.  

Fuck islam day

What did the judge say when the Ft. Hood shooter wanted an Insanity defense?

"We already know he's a Muslim, what else you got?"

Not that many left?

By now everyone has heard about the CBO report on the Obamunist executive order to raise the minimum wage to $10.10. The CBO estimates it will cause the loss of 500,000 jobs. The CBO is called bipartisan, never conservative. They tend to be closer than liberal extimates though, that is a certainty.
Oblowme and his merry band of maroons don't like that number and say it will be much lower.
What? Don't they think there are still 500,000 people employed in the USA making below $10.10?
To his credit, this is a very small number. Everything else he has done has been an even bigger disaster.

A little morning humor

What do you get when you cross a crooked politician and a lousy lawyer?

Sasha and Malia

A little morning humor

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of the desert.

Congress said, “Someone may steal from it at night.” So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.

Then Congress said, “How does the watchman do his job without instruction?” So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.

Then Congress said, “How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?” So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.

Then Congress said, “How are these people going to get paid?” So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people.

Then Congress said, “Who will be accountable for all of these people?” So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.

Then Congress said, “We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $180,000,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost.”

So they laid off the night watchman.

Someone didn't get the message

A member of the Border Patrol accidentally shot and killed an undocumented democrat voter today near San Diego. The newly arrived Obama supporter was apparently mocking the BP agent for having to work instead of collecting welfare section 8 subsidies, and EBT food supplies.
For reasons unknown, the idiot, the obomunist, not the fella with a job, decided it would be fun to chuck a rock in the direction of the agent, and struck the guy in the face sufice it to say, its dumb as hell to bring a rock to a gun fight.
The good news for Mexifornia communists, the guy will be voting a straight ticket for at least 100 years. The bad news, Taco Bell still has openings, and the lazy assholes residing here won't get off the couch to fill em.

A little morning humor

Hillary walks into a bar with Buddy, 

The bartender says "you can't bring that pig in here."

Hillary says "thats not a pig thats a dog."
The bartender says "I was talking to the dog"

A little morning humor

Last Tuesday, as President Obama got off the helicopter in front of the White House, he was carrying a baby piglet under each arm.

The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, salutes, and says: “Nice pigs, sir.”

The President replies: “These are not pigs. These are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and I got one for Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.”

The squared away Marine again snaps to attention, salutes, and says: “Excellent trade, sir.”

A little morning humor

A man was telling his buddy, "You won't believe what happened last night. My daughter walked into the living room and said, ‘Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, forget my college tuition loan, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out the window; take my TV, and my laptop. Please take any of my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Then, sell my car, take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house. Then, disown me and never talk to me again. And don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to any charity you choose.’ "

"Holy Smokes," replied the friend, "she actually said that?"

"Well, she didn't put it quite like that, she actually said, 'Dad, meet my new boyfriend - Mohammed. We're going to work together on Hillary Clinton's presidential election campaign!' "

A little morning humor

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.

While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.

The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished, the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished, the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she
writes him a check.

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished, the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.

When Putin hears this, he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply. The devil smiles and replies, ” Calls to America are now local since Obama has taken over.”

Happy Valentines Day

Fuck Islam day

What did Mohammed say to his Father-In-Law when Aisha turned 10?

I'll swap you a ten for 2 fives....

Happy Valentines day

On Valentine's Day a shy but drunk young man walked up to a beautiful young woman in a bar and said "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"
"Yes, I do," she replied, "but go ahead since I'm sure you're going to ask anyway."
"Okay," he said. "How many men have you slept with?"
"That's my business!" she snapped.
"Oh cool!" he said. "How much?"

A little morning humor

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with two Brazilian men last night."
The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"

A little morning humor

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and was very much in favor of the redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the addition of more government welfare programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn’t even have time for a boyfriend, and didn’t really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, “How is your friend Audrey doing?”

She replied, “Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She’s always invited to all the parties, and lots of times she doesn’t even show up for classes because she’s too hung over.”

Her wise father asked his daughter, “Why don’t you go to the Dean’s office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.”

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father’s suggestion, angrily fired back, “That wouldn’t be fair! I have worked really hard for my grades! I’ve invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!”

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, “Welcome to the Libertarian party.”

A little morning humor

The President was out jogging this morning along the Potomac. Unfortunately, due to some ice, he slipped and fell in. Before the Secret Service detail could grab him, currents pulled him down river.

Three boys in a row boat, saw Mr.Obama, and quickly rowed over to him, and pulled him into the boat.

The President, grateful, said to to them, "Thank you, boys. I would like to give you each something for saving my life." So he asks the first boy, "What would you like, son?"

The boy replies, "I always wanted a pair of Jordan Air Nike's"

Obama replies, "Son, I'll get you a pair and have Michael Jordan sign them for you".

The second boy says, "I always wanted to go to Disney World"

Obama says, "Son, I'll fly you and your family there on Air Force One".

The third boy says, "Well, I'd like a power wheelchair, with a High Def TV attached, surround sound, and a drink holder"

Obama looks at the boy and says, "Son, you aren't handicapped, why in the world would you want that?"

The boy answers, "Because when my Dad finds out I saved your ass, I'm gonna need it"

A little morning humor

One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming "Oh my god, help me, there's a bee in my vagina!" The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said "Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit." The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife's vagina. The doctor said "OK, what I'm gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my penis and insert it into your wife's vagina. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my penis I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my penis out of your wife's vagina. The husband nodded and gave his approval. The young lady said "Yes, Yes, whatever, just get on with it." So the doctor, after covering the tip of his penis with honey, inserted it into the young lady's vagina. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don't think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper." So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor began shafting the young lady very hard indeed. The young lady began to quiver with excitement. She began to moan and groan aloud. The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself, he then put his hands on the young lady's breasts and started making loud noises. The husband at this point suddenly became very annoyed and shouted, "Now wait a minute! What the Hell do you think you're doing?" The doctor, still concentrating, replied, "Change of plan. I'm gonna drown the bastard!"

A few thoughts on the wide world of sports

I usually don't have much to say about sports. They are entertainment, gladiators without as much gore. Today I was stuck listening to an all sports radio station while at a place. As the Bud comercial said, "Here's to you Mr. Sports know it all, you can talk about sports for twelve hours straight, which is eleven hours and forty five minutes longer than anyone cares to listen." Today I was trapped.
They spent most of the time I was stuck going on about two events. The first was Mizzu football player Michael Sam who came out as perverted, err gay. He is done with college, and moving on to the NFL. I guess he would be a great fit for the San Franfreakshow 69ers. Maybe he can switch from defensive lineman to tight end. He is sure to be a hit at the Fulsom Street Fair. At any rate, he and all his dirty laundry are no longer in the closet.

The second was OSU basket ball player Marcus Smart acting really dumb and going into the bleachers and shoving a fan. he then claimed there was a racial slur. Maybe he should change his name to John Lewis Smart. he got a three game suspension for his actions. Its not enough. The radio drone was complaining that it was just wrong at this point in the season. Gimme a break! Do cops cut a guy some slack because he got stopped for his DUI only a few blocks from his house? For the faux racism beef, he should be out for the rest of the year.

Thoughts on the Olympics 3

Russian premier Vladimir Putin has stated that gay people will be 'welcome' at the Winter Olympics in Sochi.

'The Triathalon will need targets,' he added.

Take the IQ test

Some one posted this on Farcebook. Its an IQ test for 2014. take it and have fun. The first time I took it, it said my IQ was comparable to a moss covered rock. (am I the moss, or the rock?) The second time around, It said I was an Obama supporter. Did I get smarter, or dumber? Not sure. Anyway, enjoy.

A little morning humor

What's the cheapest meat?

Deer balls. They're under a buck.

Thoughts on the Olympics 2

I can't understand how none of the Muslim countries are competing in the Olympic curling, I hear they are pretty good at throwing stones

A little morning humor

Sex is like math.
Add a bed, Subtract the clothes, Divide the legs, and pray you don’t Multiply!

Q: How do you know if you have a high sperm count ?
A: If she has to chew before she can swallow.

Q: Two potatos are standing on a corner, how can you tell which one is a prostitute?
A: The one that says IDAHO!

Q: What did the penis say to the condom?
A: Cover me im going in! 

We have a strange language

Thoughts on the Olympics

I don't know why the athletes are surprised at the poor living conditions in Sochi.

You ban gays from your town and you know that interior design is going to suffer.

Saturday blonde joke

A mex. a chinaman, and a blond guy were working on top of a tower.

at lunch time they all sat down to eat.
The mex. looked in his, and said burritos again, I hate these, If she gives me this again I'm going to jump!
The chinaman opens his and says, rice I hate rice, one more time and I'll jump!
The blond looks at his, and said peanut butter, oh god one more time and I'm jumping!!
The next day the mex looks in his lunch box and sees burritos, so he jumps off.
The chinaman opens his and sees rice again, so he jumps!!
When the blond opens his and sees peanut butter he jumps as well!
When the wives see each other at the funerals,
the mex wife says If I only knew he hated burritos, I would have packed something else!
the chinamans wife said if I knew he hated rice I would have packed something else!!
they looked at the blonds wife, and she said what?? he packs his own lunch!!

Cat humor

Breaking

The Obama administration said today that eventually everyone's health care costs will come down. For most people, this is expected to occur within 10 years after death.

Saturday low information voter true story

This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say, the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organisation for "Termination without Cause."

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee with a caller:

Customer Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"

Obama supporter: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

CS: "What sort of trouble?"

Obama supporter: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

CS: "Went away?"

Obama supporter: "They disappeared."

CS: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

Obama supporter: "Nothing."

CS: "Nothing."

Obama supporter: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

CS: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

Obama supporter: "How do I tell?"

CS: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

Obama supporter: "What's a sea-prompt?"

CS: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

Obama supporter: "There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

CS: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

Obama supporter: "What's a monitor?" 



CS: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

Obama supporter: "I don't know."

CS: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

Obama supporter: "Yes, I think so."

CS: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

Obama supporter: ".......Yes, it is."

CS: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

Obama supporter: "No."

CS: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

Obama supporter: ".......Okay, here it is."

CS: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

Obama supporter: "I can't reach."

CS: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

Obama supporter: "No."

CS: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

Obama supporter: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

CS: "Dark?"

Obama supporter: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

CS: "Well, turn on the office light then."

Obama supporter: "I can't."

CS: "No? Why not?"

Obama supporter: "Because there's a power outage."

CS: "A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

Obama supporter: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

CS: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

Obama supporter: "Really? Is it that bad?"

CS: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Obama supporter: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

CS: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

affluenza epidemic

If you haven't heard about it, a new affluenza epidemic is spreading across the nation. People with money and influence are buying their way out for themselves or their family. This is not new, it is part of the problem that led to the French revolution. It not just Texas either.
New York elitist Kerry Kennedy is also attempting it. If she gets convicted, she will claim it was revenge by exhubby Cujo err Cumo. New York has more shit than a west Kansas feed lot. She is playing on her position as the daughter of Bobby Kennedy and neice of President Kennedy to influence the courts.
If you were hoping floater was the last of the crass clan, you are sadly mistaken.

Fuck islam day

Why don't muslim men use condoms?
Little boys and goats can't get pregnant.

A little morning humor

All I ask, is for a chance to prove 

that money can't buy me happiness.....

Not a terrorist attack? You gotta be kidding

Details are beginning to emerge regarding a sniper attack on a power substation in California last year. One or more persons attacked Pacific Gas & Electric’s Metcalf substation firing more than 100 rounds into the transformers and equipment. The FBI is not classifying it as a terrorist attack. Who are they kidding? Do they think it was an insurance plot by a PG&E operative? Would some one do that as a childish prank? Oh hell no! The first two that come to mind are Haji and the rag heads, or the Mexican drug cartels. For the cartels, it would be a diversion while they did something else, but for it to last 52 minutes kinda rules them out.
So why was it able to go on so long? You would think that something like this would get the police moving faster then the hijacking of a donut truck. There is a lot we don't know about this attack, and the powers that be are doing everything they can to keep it that way. A blackout was averted, and that it all they think we need to know. Will we be this fortunate next time? Fifty years ago, our grid was piecemeal. Today nearly every part of the country is connected to one of three major grids. Generators in one state provide power that is balanced across several states. When pollution is high on the coast, plants in Arizona kick in to keep California aglow.
If you don't have a contingency plan, its time to make one. If an attack were successful, it could leave a region with out power for days, or even weeks. You have essential supplies that need power. You freezer won't stay cold with out it, and if you have only an electric range, Dude, you're screwed. Do you have a generator? What about wind or solar back up? Candles? Flashlights? When the attack hits is the wrong day to start prepping. If you live in town, figure out a good way to run a generator and keep it secure. People who did not plan ahead are planning to steal yours when the day comes.
My third guess for suspects is envirotards. Disproving global warming only makes them mad. I guess we wait and see.

A little morning humor

A guy was arrested for groping a hotel receptionist. In court, his defence was: "When I arrived there, I drove through a gate marked ENTER, walked through a door saying PUSH, came to a desk with a bell that said PRESS and met a woman wearing a badge that said PAT."

For Angel

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, And at the appropriate point in the process. She told him that he would now need to enter a password, something he could remember easily and will use each time he has to log on.

The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password,

He made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in....

P... E... N.... I... S...

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH***

A little bad humor

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says "Sisters, you all led such wonderful lives that I'm granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you want to be."

The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" and *poof* she's gone.

The second says, "I want to be Madonna;" and *poof* she's gone.

The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini."

St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.

"Sara Pipalini;" replies the nun.

St. Peter shakes his head and says; "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell."

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says "No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."

Cheap shot but...

What's black, has bite marks and isn't needed ?

Philip Seymore Hoffman's belt.

redneck humor

Bubba and his wife had nine children They went to the Dr. to see about getting Bubba "fixed". The DR. gladly did the procedure and asked them what finally made them make the decision. Bubba replied that they had read that 1 out of 10 children being born in Kansas was Mexican , and they didn't want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because they couldn't speak Spanish.

happy ground hog day.

I prefer mine over eggs sunnyside up and with the yolks runny thank you.

Which is better?

Purchasing or Leasing?

Which is better?

Many people cannot decide which is cheaper - purchasing or leasing. I would like to help you decide by illustrating two charming stories.

Purchasing

The math on the Paul McCartney - Heather Mills divorce was as follows:
After 5 years of marriage, he paid her $49 million.
Assuming he had sex with her every night during their 5 year relationship, it ended up with him purchasing her @ $26,849 per time.

Leasing

On the other hand, New York Governor Eliot Spitzer's favorite hooker, Kristen, charged $4,000 per night.

So, had Paul McCartney "employed" Kristen for 5 years @ $4,000 per night, he would have paid only $7.3 million in total for sex every night. This represents a $41.7 million saving for Eliot. What a shrewd man Eliot is, compared to the ageing Beatle.
Further valuable benefits of this Leasing option are;
* a (real) 22 year old
* no need for coaxing / pleading / begging
* never a headache
* happily agrees to all technical requests
* no complaining
* no “Honey - please do this” lists
* has two legs
Best of all, she leaves and returns when asked.
All at 1/7th the cost and no legal fees.

Sometimes Leasing just makes more sense.

THE OLD ADAGE STILL HOLDS TRUE...IF IT FLYS, FUCKS, OR FLOATS...RENT IT !

Its bad here

Just how bad is it? A man washed up in the Marshall islands and claimed he had been at sea for 16 months. He left Mexico headed south to El Salvador. What? we aint good enough for em anymore? OK, so we chalk the drop in illegal immigration up as a credit for Obambi. next we are gonna be hearing about people fleeing Mexifornia ending up in North Korea.
Speaking of which, this guy is lucky he didn't end up there. How bad it would be to endure a year and a half of hell in a boat only to be executed for entering North Korea without a visa.
At any rate, this guy is blessed to be alive. GOD has a plan for him. Its time to listen to the Lord.
Note to self, do not put to sea in a boat assembled in Messyco, and be careful about vehicles assembled there as well.

Obozo's fighting a rear guard action

The Keystone XL project has been on hold by Oblowme for several years now as he throws roadblock after roadblock in front of its construction. The report he demanded, conducted by his accomplices, has found no reason to stop it, yet he continues to block construction. IS he doing this to push funds to his political cronies? That appears to be the only reason.
The last few years have seen several rail road accidents involving product that should have been shipped via pipeline. The damage can be very nasty, and if a derailment happened in a major city, and railroads seem to run through every last one of them, think of the consequences. Pipelines by contrast tend to steer away from major urban hubs. Its expensive to build close to a city, through one would be prohibitive. Pipelines also have safety valves at regular intervals which would limit a spill to less then what is often lost in a train accident.
Yet, Soro's sock puppet presses on. I'd call him the man who would be king, but the ball less little cocksucker is more like a queen. An ugly drag queen. Wouldn't it be nice to have a president again who loves his country? or should I say loves America?

So bad its Funny

3 logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks them: "Would you all like a beer?"
The first one answers: "I don't know."
The second one answers: "I don't know."
The third one answers: "Yes!"