Saturday low information voter true story

This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say, the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organisation for "Termination without Cause."

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee with a caller:

Customer Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"

Obama supporter: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

CS: "What sort of trouble?"

Obama supporter: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

CS: "Went away?"

Obama supporter: "They disappeared."

CS: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

Obama supporter: "Nothing."

CS: "Nothing."

Obama supporter: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

CS: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

Obama supporter: "How do I tell?"

CS: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

Obama supporter: "What's a sea-prompt?"

CS: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

Obama supporter: "There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

CS: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

Obama supporter: "What's a monitor?" 



CS: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

Obama supporter: "I don't know."

CS: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

Obama supporter: "Yes, I think so."

CS: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

Obama supporter: ".......Yes, it is."

CS: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

Obama supporter: "No."

CS: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

Obama supporter: ".......Okay, here it is."

CS: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

Obama supporter: "I can't reach."

CS: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

Obama supporter: "No."

CS: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

Obama supporter: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

CS: "Dark?"

Obama supporter: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

CS: "Well, turn on the office light then."

Obama supporter: "I can't."

CS: "No? Why not?"

Obama supporter: "Because there's a power outage."

CS: "A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

Obama supporter: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

CS: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

Obama supporter: "Really? Is it that bad?"

CS: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Obama supporter: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

CS: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."