Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Imagine

Imagine you are a member of a perverted sex cult. You can’t have a real job because you have to go to the mosque five time a day and bang your head on the floor. That limits your possibilities of ever landing a wife. No means to support a family means no family to support.
Sex with goats is dangerous, some of them kick, and they have horns that hurt like hell when they head butt you. The syphilitic madman who dictated the satanic verses taught that a man could have multiple wives, so all the desirable girls are spoken for at an early age whether they like it or not. That adds a factor of ten to your already dismal chances of finding a mate. In a bygone era, you would have hopped on a horse of camel and gone off and kidnapped a girl from some distant nonsatanic tribe, then made her your slave. Then some one says, Hey Achmed, why don’t you go to Europe as a refugee? You have heard about western women, they are rumored to be so lusty that they will sleep with any body, so you might get laid after all!
You arrive in Germany and find that they are all the worst kind of slut, they will sleep with anybody but you. Then some imam says Achmed, remember in the satanic verses the false prophet told that you would get seventy two virgins if you die in jihad while screaming the vile name of the arabic moon god.
Tough choice, die of blue balls, die of tennis elbow from too much fantasy, or die quickly from a belt full of TNT. With luck the girls who unsuspectingly wander around you as you prepare to do the stupidest deed of your misspent life will be among the choices you have for virgins.
boom!
Oh shit, the bomb blew your balls off.

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