red neck joke

Old Joe was needin a little help in the bedroom so to speak, and finally went to visit the doctor.
Doc gave him a prescription for a viagra like experimental drug, and admonished him, only take em one at a time, and check back with me in three days to make sure every thing is OK.
Well, old Joe's wife was excited about the prospect of having a good roll in the hay, and since Joe was otherwise in good health, she decided to slip him two with his after dinner coffee.
Joe knew he was in real good health, and the thought of a night of honeymoon bliss excited him, so he opted for two instead of one after supper.
When Joe didn't show up on day three, doc got a little worried. By day four he was pissed, and on day five decided to take a drive out to Joes place and chew him out like he was in sunday school.
When Doc got to Joe's driveway, he saw Joe Jr hidin in the ditch. Doc pulled up and asked, "Boy, what in tarnation is goin on?"
"Doc," said the lad, "Maw is dead, paw done screwed her to death. Sissy caint walk no more on acounta her cunt is raw meat. I hurt so bad I aint shit in three days, and Paw is over yonder behind the barn chasin the lambs, sheep, and a callin here kitty kitty."

OK, that one was bad, this ones worse.

Farmer Joe got him a new rooster, and as soon as he turned it loose, that clucker was screwin everything in sight. after a few hours of continuous cackling and feathers flying, farmer Joe grabbed the rooster and said" You better slow it down, you're gonna screw yourself to death."
Well, that rooster ignored him and continued chasing everything in sight.
The next morning when farmer Joe opened the door, that rooster was laid out in the middle of the yard with buzzards circling over head.
"You sorry son of a bitch" he screamed, "I told you youd screw yurself to death!"
The rooster opened one eye, then said "Shush, their coming down."