Something to start your day off right

"My god! What happened to you?" the bartender asked Cletus as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast.

"I got in a tiff with Bubba."

"Bubba? He's just a wee fellow," the barkeep said surprised. "He must have had something in his hand."

"That he did," Cletus said. "A shovel it was."

"Dear Lord. Didn't you have anything in your hand?"

"Aye, that I did -- Mrs. Bubba's left tit." Cletus said. "And a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight!"