Tips for Avoiding U.S. Drone Strikes

One sure fire way to avoid being targeted is to assume the low information voter position. This is a modified duck and cover pose, just stick your head between your legs and…well you know the drill. Otherwise, here are some other suggestions:

Join the church where Al Sharpton is a preacher. No one knows where it is.

If you can’t find it, join the church Obama frequents.

If you can’t find that: register as a Republican Senate candidate from New York, New Jersey, or California.

Get a federal "green energy" loan, then declare bankruptcy. The U.S. government will cover for you.

Proclaim you are a victim of black-on-black crime. The media will render you invisible.

Come out as a black conservative. The media will render you unrecognizable.

If you are a woman: confess that Bill Clinton or Ted Kennedy once propositioned you.

Hide in the back of a Massachusetts senator’s submerged car. It will buy you at least a few hours.

Become a member of Obama’s Job Council.

Insert yourself in the next 2,000-page bill.

Follow Jesse Jackson to an honest day’s work.

Get friendly with Sandra Fluke. Nobody has ever been able to find any of those guys.

Say "Hi, I’m Jon Huntsman and I’m still running for president."

Pretend you’re a salad; at least the First Lady won’t spot you.

Never walk in New York holding a 16oz Styrofoam soda cup.

Never drink from a bottle of water in front of a camera. This will put you in the media spotlight 24/7 for days.

Get in line at the DMV or another government office; by the time you emerge, drones will be obsolete.

Impersonate an American taxpayer.

Hide in plain sight in Benghazi; it makes a lot of difference.

Camp out at Obama’s shooting range; no one is ever there.

Stay where Obama keeps his college transcripts, U.S. passport records, or financial records. You will never be disclosed.

Set up in one of Chicago’s highest murder-rate zones. A truckload of fighters with RPGs will go undetected.

Hold a sign, preferably bilingual, declaring a "Drone-Free Zone."

Buy a Prius or Chevy Volt

Put a COEXIST bumper sticker on your car
Avoid racist code words like "budget" or "fiscal responsibility"........or "Lie"

Are you a Conservative Blogger? Maybe you shouldn't be....

If you are a world famous rapper or movie star, remember drone strikes never hit the Obama's campaign bus

Minorities....it's better to have a victim mentality, than to be a drone strike victim.

If you are Caucasian.....going tanning will ensure that Obama won't target you for drone attacks.

If all else fails....contribute to Obama's 2016 campaign. (Some how I get the impression that Since he is ignoring Article II Section 1, ignoring the 22nd amendment won't be an issue for him.)